


Androgynous Ducks

by Caebra



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Fluffy, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfuck, Genderqueer, Genders Are Kind Of Stupid, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Other, Probably ooc, non-binary Crowley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 13:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caebra/pseuds/Caebra
Summary: Fuck.A collection of spontaneous fics.Teen and Up for language and sensitive topics such as gender
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	1. Androgynous Ducks

“FUCK”

A balled-up skirt hit the wall, nearly toppling a lamp in the process.

“Crowley, dear. Please calm down.”

A suit followed suit.

“I FUCKING HATE GENDER NORMS!”

Aziraphale stood in the doorway, watching his demon fling clothes out of their closet around the room.

“Dear, I do think that you are overreacting just a smidge.”

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR?”

Aziraphale cautiously approached Crowley, holding his hands out in a harmless gesture.

Crowley felt a pressure on their shoulders and gave in to their angel’s embrace.

“Ngk.” They turned and buried their face in Aziraphale’s shoulder.

“Oh dear.” A shuddering breath left Aziraphale as he gazed at the damage.  
All kinds of clothes - jeans, skirts, dresses, suits, t-shirts… you name it - from all time periods too, were covered most surfaces in Crowley’s room.

“Have you always been this worried about your appearance?” He asked.

“Yeeeessssss. Ever since humans invented FUCKING GENDER EXPRESSION I’ve had to be.”

“Well, you know these humans, they’ll understand no matter what,” Aziraphale said gently, “Now, let’s see if we can find something that suits you.”

Aziraphale miracled the clothes strewn about the bedroom onto the bed, organized by type. He  
turned Crowley towards the display and asked,

“How should we start?”

When they were finished, about 30 minutes left before they had to leave for lunch, Crowley ended up wearing a long, dark grey t-shirt, ending at their thighs and having a deep neckline; a dark blue hoodie that they zipped halfway; black skinny jeans; and their usual snakeskin boots and shielded sunglasses.

“Oh, I’m sure this is fine,” Aziraphale said to them.

“Are you sure? Is this too casual? Maybe I should wear something collared…”

Crowley was looking over themselves in the body-length mirror, “What about my hair-” 

Aziraphale wrapped his arms around the demon, “You look beautiful, Crowley. You always do, including right now. However you present yourself, I’ll love you.”

Crowley blushed and ducked their head, hiding their face behind their flaming locks, unable to make any sound apart from a soft whimper.

“Fuck genders.”

“Fuck genders, indeed, my dear.”

They stayed like that for a couple minutes, Aziraphale hugging Crowley from behind in front of the mirror. Occasionally, the angel would nuzzle Crowley’s hair or kiss the back of their neck.

“Angel… we’ve gotta get going soon.”

Aziraphale kissed them once more before releasing them from his soft grip, “Oh, you’re right. I do hope the traffic isn't too horrible.”

Crowley followed the angel out of their flat but muttered under their breath,

“Still hate those fucking gender norms.”


	2. Shop of Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A helpful talk in an old bookshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anais, pronounced "Ahn-a-yees"

The bookshop’s bell rang happily, welcoming a new customer; and by whether good or bad fortune, the usual, angelic Mr. Fell wasn’t there to greet them. Instead, it was a strange person who many had seen and who many had assumed they were married, despite their obvious differences.

You couldn’t tell that they weren’t a customer; because, as if right now, they were simply lying on a couch and squinting - maybe, you couldn’t tell because of their sunglasses- at an open book.

Crowley watched the new arrival, their stare hidden under the dark lenses.

She looked like a teen, nearing adulthood, and she looked melancholy. Eyes reddened from recent tears and her aura was mostly dark brown and blue, just a sliver of pink poking through.

Crowley noticed this immediately and though their attention wasn’t on the book in the first place, they watched the girl carefully.

She looked around the bookshop, dragging her feet on the carpet and gently touching the book spines. 

Aziraphale was in Tadfield - just for tea with Anathema and Newt - and left Crowley to hold down the fort.

They could tell the girl wasn’t reading the book spines, she had something else on her mind. 

Unknown to most viewers, Crowley was very good with children, and they hated watching them suffer. Aziraphale discovered this only recently and it answered his question about why Crowley cared so much about the kids during the flood.

They watched her shuffle along the bookshelves until she came to a loveseat, which she promptly slid onto the seat.

“Hey…” She looked up, the person sitting on the couch in the front of the shop was standing by her left and they placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You’re looking down…” Crowley avoided her eyes, “Wanna talk about it?”

She tried to make eye-contact with the strange person but the sunglasses were too dark. She didn’t particularly want to talk, but she knew it would make her feel better. And it would only be the first of many therapeutic conversations.

“Uh, sure…” She didn’t know where they were going to sit but there seemed to have miraculously been another chair in arms reach that they pulled over to sit in front of her.

“What’s your name, kid?” the odd person asked her.

“Anais… what’s yours?”

“Call me Crowley. So. What’s up?”

Anais was very reclusive as a whole but this person radiated comfort, so she spoke.

“W-well, when I got home from school today, I just felt really horrible with myself…”

Her throat felt blocked, and as if Crowley knew it, they gave her a mug of warm cocoa. The mug had angel wings as its handle.

Anais sipped at it. The cocoa was the perfect temperature and tasted just how she liked it, bitter and pure.

“A-and then-”

Crowley was sympathetic, this kid had gone through a lot. And they couldn’t hold back all the negative feelings if they wanted Anais to talk, even if they provided com.

“Hey… Anais, you don’t have to talk. We can just sit here until you feel comfortable.”

Anais waved them off,

“No, I need to…

“So, my mom died during childbirth, so it was just me and my dad. I’ve been pretty… well… dysphoric. I left home without telling my dad.

“I’m intersex, and don’t know if it’s because of that, but since I was a kid, I’ve felt that I wasn’t just a girl. I felt-feel that I’m also… male? I don’t know if that makes sense, though…”

Anais sipped her cocoa, having nothing else to do, and hid her face behind the ceramic.

“No, no. I get it, kid. I… I’m also genderqueer. Non-binary. Though I can’t know what you’re going through right now, I understand the feeling of not fitting in. When you’re not like any humans.”

There was something that they weren’t saying, but Anais didn’t ask.

She nodded, “I think… I think I could be bigender? Or maybe genderfluid…”

She had been sipping her cocoa for a while now but it was only half empty. There also seemed to be an ineffable amount of chocolate-soaked marshmallows in the mug.

“You don’t have to label yourself right away, kid. Just… do whatever you feel comfortable with. What pronouns do you feel like using, right now?”

“Erm, she-her pronouns are fine-”

The bell above the door rang, this time it was Aziraphale.

“Hello, Crowley. Anathema and her fellow are so kind… Oh! Who’s this?”

This was probably Mr. Fell, Anais thought. He certainly looked like a bookstore owner. Worn and intelligent, just like the many volumes in his shop.

“Hey, Angel. This is - Do you want to go by another name, kid?”

Anais shifted back into the seat’s cushion as Mr. Fell approached her curiously, “Uh, Anais is fine, for now.”

“Well, Anais, this is Mr. Fell, my husband.”

“Hello, dear,” Aziraphale extended a hand, “And call me Aziraphale.”

Crowley turned their attention back to the teenager,

“Now, you should be getting back home, you’re dad will be worrying. But you’ll always be welcome here. Right, Angel?”

“Yes, yes. Of course, always.”

Anais handed back the mug, she noticed how Aziraphale glanced at it then sternly looked at Crowley, who had a smug smirk on.

“Thank you, Crowley. You, too, Aziraphale.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how accurate this is - I'm a cis female so I don't know much about gender dysphoria.
> 
> I just want everyone to know that however you identify, you are valid and I accept you.  
I know being intersex doesn't make you queer, by the way, just adding some inexperience into this child's mind.
> 
> The name Anais was chosen because (don't laugh) 'anas' is 'duck' in Latin, and that name was the first one I thought of based on that.

**Author's Note:**

> I just asked my friends for a prompt and I got 'Genderfuck'.  
So, without knowing what it meant, I wrote this.  
I hope it fits the term 'genderfuck' enough.
> 
> I had some help on Crowley's outfit from my enby friends, and the title was suggested by one of them who didn't know anything about Crowley and has been saying 'androgynous ducks' for no reason now. So most of these are going to be related to gender.
> 
> Also I love long-haired Crowley.


End file.
